Why Praising Effort Beats Praising Results—Every Time

We want to encourage our children to succeed. It’s natural to praise them for good grades, awards, or completing tasks. However, research in developmental psychology shows that how we praise matters as much as what we praise. Praising effort over results can have a more lasting impact on a child’s motivation, confidence, and learning. This distinction is more than semantics; it’s a mindset shift that shapes children's approach to challenges throughout their lives.

The Problem with Praising Results

Telling your child, “You’re so smart!” or “You’re amazing at math!” might feel encouraging in the moment, but such praise can unintentionally tie a child’s sense of worth to outcomes that may not always be in their control. When children are praised solely for their intelligence or talent, they may develop what psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck calls a fixed mindset — the belief that abilities are innate and unchangeable.

As a result, when these children eventually encounter difficulty — a challenging subject, a low grade, or a tough life experience — they may interpret the setback as evidence that they are not smart, talented, or capable after all. This can lead to risk avoidance, fear of failure, and even disengagement from learning.

Dr. Dweck’s research has shown that children who are praised for effort rather than innate ability are more likely to develop a growth mindset — the belief that ability can be developed through hard work, strategies, and support.

The Power of Praising Effort

Praising effort sounds like this:

• “I can see how much thought you put into this.”

  
  

• “You didn’t give up, even when it got tough — that shows real persistence.”

  
  

• “I noticed how you tried a different strategy when the first one didn’t work.”

  
  

This type of praise reinforces process over product, helping children see that their actions — not just their outcomes — are valuable. It fosters resilience, encourages learning from mistakes, and supports the development of intrinsic motivation.

According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, children praised for effort showed greater motivation, better academic performance, and improved emotional responses to setbacks. This aligns with findings from Harvard’s Making Caring Common Project, which emphasize the importance of valuing character and effort in children over superficial achievement.

Effort Praise in Everyday Parenting

Here are a few practical ways to integrate effort-based praise into your daily parenting:

• During homework: “You kept working through that problem even when it was hard. That’s how learning happens.”

  
  

• After sports or music practice: “How you showed up and gave it your all today says a lot about your dedication.”

  
  

• When your child is struggling: “I’m proud of how you're sticking with this, even though it’s frustrating. That perseverance will help you go far.”

  
  

Effort praise can also include process praise — acknowledging the strategy your child used, or the improvement they've shown over time. This teaches them that progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Results Still Matter — But They're Not the Whole Story

This isn’t to say that achievements should be ignored. Celebrating milestones, accomplishments, and hard-earned results is meaningful. But when those achievements are rooted in a process that’s also acknowledged and encouraged, the message is more powerful: You are not successful because you’re naturally gifted — you’re successful because you worked, adapted, and persisted.

This builds confidence that lasts far beyond the classroom or exam hall. It sets children up not just to achieve, but to grow.

Final Thought

Parenting is full of opportunities to shape how children see themselves as learners, problem-solvers, and people. Praising effort over results is a subtle but transformative tool. It tells your child: Your hard work matters. Your growth matters. And who you’re becoming is even more important than what you’ve achieved today.

That message, repeated over time, lays the foundation for resilience, curiosity, and confidence — qualities far more valuable than any single report card or trophy.

This week, how might you shift one piece of praise from focusing on outcome to focusing on effort? What do you notice when you do? Let us know in the comments below.